


I have a crush on

by nondirmiche



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Multi, Pining, academy au, mail fic, not mine! permission to repost, possible angst, teeenage au, very oblivious characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nondirmiche/pseuds/nondirmiche
Summary: REPOSTED FROM ARTIFICIAL QUEENS - AUTHOR LANCE - I HAVE PERMISSION TO POSTGio and Max are teens. They’re in love with each other, but never talk. This is all gonna change when two anonymous students, qrs99 and saltine, start sending e-mails to each other.(It’s up to the reader to decide the timeline of the e-mails, according to the development of their conversations)





	1. E-mails exchange // compulsory

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody, I’m a new author here. My name’s Lance and it’s very nice to meet you! Please keep in mind English is not my main language so please be kind. This is a Craquaria fic inspired by an actual initiative that happened in my school. It will be written via e-mails only, every mail will be a different chapter. It’s gonna start out short, as you will see, but I will try to put a new chapter out almost everyday to keep up with the real timing of the e-mails. Hope you will enjoy! Let me know if you like it. Bye!

~~I have a crush on~~

 

 

 

 **to:** _students (see all)_

 **from:** _main@nycacademy.com_

 **object:** _e-mails exchange // compulsory_

 

 

**mail:**

 

Dear students,

With this e-mail we want to announce the start of our exchange program. It has occurred to us that our students do not interact with each other outside of classes and clubs as we wish they would, and we have decided to launch this initiative to hopefully form new friendships.

Tomorrow, each of you will receive another e-mail with a registration form you will have to fill out. This will automatically create a new e-mail account and you will be randomly matched with another student inside the academy.

To remain or not remain anonymous is up to you, the school will not force you into revealing your identity. We do incourage a peaceful conversation though, hoping that you all will learn something new from people you wouldn’t have talked to otherwise. Maybe your matched partner will be someone from a extracurricular club you’ve never thought of joining, maybe your matched partner will be your roommate and you will be amazed by how many things you don’t know about them.

The psychologist at the academy really recommend to join the program.

This opportunity is for you, to find out new things about yourselves and others, so we made the registration compulsory but not the exchange per se. Our best suggestion is: try it out, experiment.

 

That being said, we want to remind all students that the eastern science labs are currently being renovated so please, don’t hang out next to the halls because of fresh coats of paint. Science classes will be held in the western science labs. We hope to not cause too much discomfort.

 

We wish you all the best in whatever challenge life will present.

Best regards,

_The Academy Teachers_


	2. Hi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Hope the first chapter made you curious about what is going to happen next. From now on, we will see stuff happening only via the e-mails that Max and Gio will exchange. A lot of other queens (well, not really queens anymore) will be nominated. Imagine the school they all go to is a pre-college academy, and all the contestants are there as students. Hope that is clear to you all. Let me know in the comments! Also, a biscuit to whoever guesses why I chose qrs as Gio’s email! xxx

~~I have a crush on~~

 

**to:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_   
**from:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_   
**object:** _Hi!_

 

**mail:**

Hello! Hi. Nice to meet you!

I don’t really know what else I’m supposed to say in this e-mail, except hello. Please answer. 

Okay that may sound blunt but I’m so fucking enthusiast for this stupid thing that the thought of receiving no e-mails back is kinda terrifying. I would love to hear from you. 

How can I call you? I wish to remain anonymous because I mean, being mysterious? Duh, that’s my thing. ;)

My name isn’t really like, easy to read, even in your head, so what about another nickname? You choose. Maybe you’re so inspired by this first e-mail that you already clocked my personality and you will come up with an awesome name. 

Dunno about you but I really really want to talk about stuff. I hope you’re interesting enough, and maybe, dare I say, wise. Because we could like, help each other etc. Or we could just chat about other students and talk shit of people we don’t like…! Okay that could be fun af. **

Anyway, answer soon! Thanks and bye,  
 _your pen pal_

 

P.S.: are you called saltine like the snack? Lmao :’)


	3. Re:Hi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Hope you like the direction this is taking. Leave a comment if you like it! Thank you so much for the support, I appreciate every like! xxx

~~I have a crush on~~

 

 

 

**to:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _Re: Hi!_

 

 

**mail:**

 

Hey Joy,

I’m Salt. It’s a pleasure.

 

First things first, I feel like I need to explain why I decided to call you Joy. You seem very enthusiastic in general and lively and bubbly so you deserve this name. Hope you like it! Let me know if I have to find another one.

 

Anyway don’t worry, I fully intend to keep on answering: you had a great idea (helping each other out) and I think I’m wise enough to be a good advisor to a kid like you.

 

Yes, I’m older than you (I guessed you were born in ‘99 being that your e-mail. I still can’t wrap my head around the three letters but give me time and I will FBI that shit). So yes, seems fair to me that I also tell you my birth year: ‘97, dare I say a good batch? We’re all super cool. I also like ‘99s, but I mean… too close to the ‘00s for my personal tastes. No comment.

 

About the academy, being that I’ve studied here for three whole years almost, I can only say that you will have fun. You will enjoy every second of it if you play your cards right. Are you in any club? Let me know, but don’t say which because you’re gonna blow your cover and that will force me to drop the mask. And I don’t want to, so be careful about the information you give me. I will Sherlock the fuck out of you.

 

But enough blabbing about this shit, lets get to the good stuff. What do you need help for? Go on and ask me, I’m patient and we could say very smart? If you consider having a good sense of humor a sign of intelligence… ;)

 

I also will have to share something with you, I guess we can fairly say we can pretty much trust each other. Of course this is valid if we both agree to not share with anyone else the things we will say here… and also, that we will not try to find out who the other is. That would be very rude in my opinion.

 

Is this cool to you Joy? Let me know. Hope to hear from you soon,

Salt

 

 

P.S.: yes it’s saltine like the snack.

 

 


	4. Re:Re:Hi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I still can’t believe I managed to keep up with this schedule of posting every single day, even if the chapters are rather short. Thank you for bearing with me! xx

~~I have a crush on~~

 

**to:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_  
**from:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_  
**object:** _Re:Re:Hi!_

 

 **mail:**  
Okay Salt (that’s your name then? ‘Cause you’re salty? c: Me too), it’s a deal. 

I have no interest in finding out who you are (for now, ofc), so I totally agree. And yeah, I’m a ‘99 babe! I just turned 18 and I had a blast at my birthday party, it was a-fucking-mazing. I would talk about that party for hours because pretty interesting stuff happened, but you would guess who I am so let’s not. I’m honestly too eager for advice…

I’m a mess. Let’s start with saying that. Okay so, I have a crush. Underwhelming? But it’s a huge, huge deal for me! I’m super fucked and not in a good way. He will never, never ever notice me. I’m like, so not his type. I don’t know what to do! Maybe you can help me.

Should I give up on him? Because these feelings make every day better and worst at the same time, it’s like living on an emotional rollercoaster. I don’t wanna turn this e-mail into a philosophical reflection on love and how it nurtured and tortures at the same time because it’s not really in my style, I’m not that articulate, but it’s so true. Maybe you also can understand me. You must have feelings, mustn’t you Salt?

I’m in your hands. Tysm,  
Joy

P.S.: I actually prefer breadsticks to saltines. I guess saltines are you favorite snack?

P.S.S.: I feel like I’m struggling to write as much as you. I can’t help it if you’re a poet and I’m just a peasant!

P.S.S.S.: I love Joy as a name tho. Thanks it’s very sweet!


	5. Re:Re:Re:Hi!

~~I have a crush on~~

 

**to:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_  
**from:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_  
**object:** _Re:Re:Re:Hi!_

 

 **mail:**

Hello Joy,  
Sorry for the late answer. I’ve been quite busy with one of the last tasks they’ve given us third years. 

Anyway, I think that your problem is easily fixable, or at least it sounds like it. You could start by telling me who your crush is, so I can help you! Maybe I’m a friend of this guy you’re crushing on and I can do some investigation to find out if he’s interested in someone. 

For now, I can only say that you’re not alone in this mess: I also have a crush. Well, kinda. It’s more like, physical attraction? Because I don’t know him very well… so don’t worry, let’s see if we can do something about yours first. Mine isn’t that important. 

And don’t even think about not being this guy’s type: if I know something about straight guys, the only requirement they need a girl to have is to be alive and breath. Also all girls are pretty. I’m 100% sure you’re super gorgeous and you’ll be able to talk to this guy with no problem at all. 

I will try to give you the best advices I can, even though I’m in a similar situation. But, as I said, I’m not really in love with him, I’m just very very attracted to his looks. He’s a new guy here so I haven’t had the pleasure to get to know him very well, also I think he kind of hates me? Or at least strongly dislike, since maybe hate is a harsh word to use. Anyway, tell me about your situation first, I need more details or I won’t be able to help you.

I feel we already have a connection dear Joy, don’t feel ashamed and telling whatever is on your mind. Our secrets aren’t anything unique, but at our age they can feel like dead weights we’re carrying and that we can’t manage to get rid of. 

Thanks for calling me a poet, I suddenly feel like one!

Much love,

Salt

P.S.: #teamsaltines

P.S.S.: if you gotta use post scriptums to fill out more pages than me don’t fucking do it and use the main body! Grrrr

P.S.S.S.: ow you’re welcome! ;)


	6. I’M A GUY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry you guys. I posted the seventh chapter before the sixth. Ewwww -Lance

~~I have a crush on~~

 

**to:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_   
**from:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_   
**object:** _I’M A GUY_

 

**mail:**

First of all, if you didn’t read the object, I’m a guy. Hope you don’t have a problem with gay people because I’m one of them - but tbh you could be one too. I don’t erase, my dear Salt. Did you just assume my gender?!?! Lmao jk it’s alright. 

But jeez, don’t be such a pain in the ass. Post scriptums are fun! Anyway as you can see right now, I’m writing in the main body. Aren’t you proud of me? Can you finally breathe again? And breadsticks are the fucking best. How can you be team saltines? They’re basically the same but better. Italian-er. And don’t you dare telling me I have bad tastes regarding snacks because you have to see who I like, he’s the snackiest of them all. ;)

So, you want to know who I have a crush on? Or let’s say I’m in love him, because I swear to God I’m so head over heels for this guy. I’ve never been this attracted to someone in my entire life. This may seem like childish or something since I’m only 18 so how many people could have I like, right? But I’m being very serious right now Salt. 

Okay, so let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Promise you won’t make fun of me.

I have a crush on Maxwell Heller.

Oh my fucking God I can’t believe I said it Salt!!! It’s the first time that I even write it down, I haven’t told nobody! Not even my closest friends. So yeah, me trusting you this much… I still can’t process I’m writing this e-mail. Can you relate? Maybe you’re like this about your crush too, even if you said you’re only physically attracted to him. 

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: THAT Maxwell Heller? The super quiet super dull president of the martial arts club? (For a guy who crushes wood bars with his bare hands, gotta admit it, he looks very… anonymous. Not in a bad way, absolutely, I’m like… it makes him even more attractive in my eyes.)

Anyway, yeah, he’s the object of my love and affection. Tell me that you know him, by any chance, and you can, like, investigate or something. You sound a little bit like maybe Dustin would write, but I know who got Dustin so you can’t be him. But Dustin knows Maxwell better than me so I kinda hoped you would turn out to be him… 

My problem with Maxwell is that not only I don’t know him, I’m not even his friend, but also we would never like me back. I don’t know if he’s gay, well he looks like he could but who knows? My gaydar must be broken! Or simply it doesn’t work around him because of course, fuck it, when I need it it’s dead. This is not me being all emo and shit, but I have legit reasons to think that Maxwell would never like me back.

On top of it all, I’m not a very sexual person. Like, I’m young I know and my hormones are going around everywhere in my body, but I am very much a subdued guy when it comes to sex. And Maxwell is the only person I’ve been thinking about for a while… I don’t even look at other people anymore, my mind comes back to fucking Maxwell Heller from the martial arts club. I want to snatch myself bald.

Please answer soon or I’ll turn mad lmao,

A not so joyful anymore,   
_Joy_

P.S.: lmao xx


	7. What the actual fuck, dude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a repost since I inadvertently posted this before the sixth chapter. Hope it’s all cleared up now! Love, Lance

~~I have a crush on~~

 

**to:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_   
**from:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_   
**object:** _What the actual fuck, dude_

 

**mail:**

No, but seriously. You like Maxwell…? I’m laughing so hard right now. You’re joking, aren’t you? And if you’re not… oh God, yes. Yes you do have bad tastes. Not only in snacks, but in guys too. You have, HAVE to tell me why in the world you have a crush on Maxwell. Then I’ll tell you if I know him or not.

First, I have to wrap my head around the fact that someone in this school finds Maxwell Heller attractive and the reasons WHY is that so. I really really want to know this, I’ve probably never been this curious I swear! You will have to wait to know who I like (which, I swear, is more of a “I want to bang him” than “I want to buy a house and a wiener dog with him”.)

But switching topic (kinda) for a second, sorry for assuming you were a girl. I’m a gay guy myself (here goes the big reveal), so I have zero reasons for thinking that. So, we’re both two hopeless homos? Bitch, we were paired by destiny itself. We can cry about cute guys (well, if you consider Maxwell CUTE to begin with) and talk about the new episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race (you watch it, of course you do. It’s mandatory in our community. You’re only like halfway gay if you don’t). 

Okay so back to the first part of your e-mail, which I kinda overlooked because as soon as I opened it I read fucking Maxwell Heller’s name in the middle of it and I jumped out of my seat. First of all I really suggest to check out your mail for any typos… it’s so full of the, I can’t even bring myself to read it all. Be! Precise! I’m struggling to write in correct grammar here.

And second thing second, how do you know who Dustin got? I think I know Dustin pretty well and I haven’t found out yet. Am I a fake friend? Btw I know Dustin and Max are pretty close so it would have been great for you to be paired with him. Unfortunately yep, I’m not Dustin. I’m sorry boo. 

Aaaannnddd another question sorry. I’m very curious: what makes you think Max is gay? I have my own opinion on the matter, but I wanna hear from you honestly. :)

Let me know soon. I’ll be shivering in antici… pation (got the reference? Don’t even bother answering me back if you don’t). 

Love,   
_Salt_

_P.S.: you think you’re clever don’t ya? >:(_


	8. So rude :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! A little late maybe? Oh fuck it, who’s counting. Thank you Evelyn for answering to the anons commenting my fic and on AO3. Love ya. And I love you all for the enthusiasm towards my work! You’re wonderful! xoxo, Lance 
> 
> I would also like to add that the timeline of the events it’s up to you. You decide how time is passing according to the development of their conversation.

~~I have a crush on~~

 

**to:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_  
**from:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_  
**object:** _So rude :(_

 

**mail:**

I’m sorry Salt, I gotta ask you what exactly did poor Maxwell do to you? You sound so bitter tbh, I’d like to know. Don’t be so harsh, c’mon! I promise I will be super enthusiastic when it comes to your crush (which I’m dying to know the identity of, friendly reminder).

And I’m sorry for all the typos! Although I noticed that in the exact same sentence you missed the “m” in “them”… busted! :^)

Anyway, lemme answer the easiest questions and I’ll get back to Max in a sec. Okay so, about Drag Race: ofc I watch it are you kidding me? I’m so obsessed with that show. This season I’m rooting for Peppermint, Sasha and all the Newyorkers in general because we gotta support our neighbors, don’t we? Have you ever been to a drag show? I mean, maybe you’re not 21 yet but you can always get a fake ID and sneak into a club. (I’ll be honest: I did went to see Aja performing in Brooklyn and I had a blast, she’s so amazing I didn’t wanna go back, ever!). I feel comfortable telling you that because you don’t know who I am, but secondly I think you wouldn’t expose me either because you don’t seem that kind of person. Am I right Salt? I’d be in trouble only if the school staff reads these e-mails, which they don’t, do they? I don’t think they do because what if we share deep, intimate information? Or what if someone is sexting his pen pal: that would be embarrassing af! Imagine the principal finding her students’ dickpics. Lmaoooo I want to witness that scene!!! :’)

Okay, second question: Dustin’s exchange partner. This is gonna be short because I have bad news: I’m not telling you. He and I aren’t exactly what you’d call friends and I don’t wanna be shady towards him. I found out who his pen pal was because of reasons but I’ll stay silent. Deal with it, Salt. I really wish you were Dustin tho, I’d have killed two birds with one stone (Trixie Mattel is living): I’d be now friends with him and I would’ve found out more information about the Maxwell Case.

Are we friends, tho? You and me, Salt. I feel like we are in some kind of way: it’s a weird, unusual situation for sure, but I told you what I’ve never told another soul and that created a connection I’m not sure we can break so easily now. I think our bond will be even stronger once you also told me who you like. Fortunately in this case one of us doesn’t have to be dead in order to keep these secrets, and we can talk freely about it which is one hell of a lucky situation.

And here we are, addressing the elephant in the room (nope, not talking about David. Even though he always says he’s the elephant king or whatever. Wait, are you David? No, you’re not, I feel like you’d be much more annoying): the Maxwell Heller is gay matter. Okay so, I already told you that I feel like my gaydar’s broken, but sometimes I get really gay vibes from him. It’s a mixed feeling: when I see him practicing karate in one of the patios, or during a competition (I religiously watch every one of them, I can’t always be present because I would be spotted immediately so I ask a friend if they can go and film the thing), I don’t get “gay”. Because let’s be real, karate is not a stereotypical gay sport. It’s not ballet, it’s not gymnastics, it’s a tough masculine straight guy sport. And he doesn’t have a particularly high-pitched voice too. But that being said, when he’s walking around, when sometimes I see him in class, he’s so well dressed and quiet and fancy I can’t help but thinking he’s super gay. The way he carries himself when he’s not wearing the kimono is completely different, and it fascinates me how he can change so much. Also he’s very short which I like, since I’m not super tall myself so I could cuddle him to death. This may sound too lovey-dovey, maybe even creepy, but bear with me, I’m a 18-year-old gay guy in love. You can fill out your next e-mail drooling about your crush, you have my permission.

Anyway, thank you so much for hearing me out Salt. And ofc I got the reference! It’s a Rocky Horror quote. I did my homework ;)  
Actually nope, I didn’t, in fact I gotta go study physics or I’ll get an F. Tell me about your crush pleaseeee I can’t sleep at night!!

Bye babe,  
 _Joy_ xx


	9. Sorry (kinda)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the hiatus, I had to think about where I want this story to go and I added a major plot twist in this chapter. I hope you didn’t see that coming. xoxo Lance

~~I have a crush on~~

**to:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _Sorry (kinda)_

**mail:**

Hey Joy, here’s your daily dose of Salt.

Let’s start with saying that Maxwell didn’t do anything to me personally. I don’t really like him because he’s always so perfect and polished and that pisses me off. I guess that’s his nature; he should loosen up a bit. Maybe, and I wanna highlight that maybe, I was too rough in my last e-mail: I read it again before writing this and I have to admit I sound hateful almost. Don’t get me wrong: I wish Maxwell nothing but happiness, but I don’t want to be his friend. I will, however, tell you if I find out something more specific about him. What would you want to know? I can look around. Anyway, I’m gonna tell you the identity of my special someone in this e-mail. Don’t jump right at the end please, read the whole thing, I have more stuff to say before spilling the tea (look at me, using drag lingo. Could it get any gayer?), hope you’re as enthusiastic as much as I am terrified of saying it all.

And about typos: damn you sneaky little bitch. You got me, alright. It won’t happen again! >:)

Before saying the unsayable, I want to have a word on your wild adventures in clubs. That is COOL AS FUCK. Yes it deserves the caps lock (which I normally despite) because I envy you so fucking much! Gosh I wish I were you. How was Aja? What did she perform to? She’s so amazing I can’t help but shaking in my pajama right now. By the way yes I would never tell the principal or whoever about your little infraction, although next time I wanna come too because honestly I deserve it. And the thought of the principal finding out about her students’ nudes: I can’t oh my God imagine that! Imagine that. And the nudes of someone like, I don’t know, Antwan. I want his nudes honestly, he’s chocolate perfection. Although I see him as a motherly figure or something, he’s always down with helping everyone so I don’t know if I actually wanna see his nudes or not!

About Dustin: okay you’re forgiven for not telling me who he got. I will find out, trust me… I will pull out my best investigation tricks and I will get to the conclusion. I already have some ideas about the mysterious Dustin partner. I don’t wanna ask him directly because I mean, that would be so easy. Let’s have some fun with it, shall we? But if I get it right you have to tell me, okay? I’ll tell you my hypothesis in the next e-mail, stay tuned. ;)

Are we friends… great question actually. I wouldn’t say we aren’t, but we can’t even say we are. See Joy, friends trust each other to death. And we’re on that track, we’re getting to it. But obviously there’s something missing here, something that we’ll eventually reach and fulfill but we have to be cautious. I know we’re not talking about FBI secrets here but it’s very important for me and I think that it’s even more important for you because you’re actually… in love, aren’t you? That’s it. And now let’s get to the juicy stuff. 

I have a crush on Dane Young.  
Oh, to better say it, I want him to screw up my insides until I bleed. And then I want to screw up his. I want him to do me on every surface possible and I want to eat him out until he’s begging me to stop. I want to run my hands all over his ripped body, smooth and perfect like the David of Michelangelo until I consume him. These are my feelings right now: pure lust, I swear, I have no actual romantic attraction towards him. But he’s so damn hot I can’t help drooling all over him.

My secret is out. I gotta go. Ask me anything Joy, I’ll answer. Now I will have to try falling asleep without jerking off thinking about Dane. Pardon finesse.

Yours truly,  
Salt xx


	10. OH WOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Again, the timeline of the events is totally random and so are my updates. Im very busy these days but me and Evelyn are working hard I swear. This chapter is very short because of reasons, the next one is gonna be here right after. Hope you like it! xo Lance

~~I have a crush on~~

**to:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _OH WOW_

**mail:**

Saltie! My dear Salty Saltine I love you so much!!! Sorry I can’t answer your mail properly, I’m just too fired up, oh my God! Dane motherfucking Young? That delicious beefy beef? That hot as hell muscular stud on everyone’s lips (literally)? You have good ass tastes in men. That description you wrote about you wanting him gave me a boner I’m not lying. You’re so fucking good lmao I can’t even with you. I have so many questions! When did you start liking him and why? What do you find in him? Please answer everything!!! I’m so shook rn. I can’t answer everything in this mail. Forgive me! I’ll get back to you soon! I wanna know! 

Love,  
Joy 

P.S.: I’ll answer I swear I just wanna know, sorry this is so short ily tho!


	11. Re:OH WOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all! This is ya boi. As promised this chapter is being posted right after the 10th, since that one was so short. I do this to keep the e-mails realistic, but it won’t be a trend (we all love longer chapters) give me feedback! Ily all, Lance xx

~~I have a crush on~~

**to:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _Re: OH WOW_

**mail:**

Hey Joy, you seemed very excited in the last e-mail so I thought it would be fair to answer right away. But I have bad news for you: I don’t actually have a crush on Dane. Let me explain properly (this is probably be long af).

So, when I first got here I didn’t really know I was gay. I even thought I had no attraction towards anyone at all, but that didn’t bother me that much. I was busy with my club activities (yes I am in a club but I won’t tell you which one, ofc. Gotta keep the mysterious aura, you know), I wanted to excel in class, and so on. As you know, Dane is a third year student like myself, but what you probably don’t know is that he wasn’t attractive at all when we were freshmen: he was a rather dull guy, very skinny, very quiet, we had a few classes together and I remember don’t even noticing him. We weren’t even friends, I don’t know that much about him even now.  
But then summer came and we didn’t see each other for a couple of months, of course. And when he came back he was already starting to grow muscles and work out insanely hard. It wasn’t a quick change, surely, but he became more and more attractive during our second year and I started noticing him. I was already thinking about my sexuality because I had a couple of crushes during the summer and shit, but he made me fully realize I am definitely, hopelessly gay.  
So yeah, I started talking to him more and we hung out and I can say we’re good friends now, but I feel no attraction to him romantically: he’s an awesome guy with a great personality, very calming, very wise in a way, and freaking funny, but you know, he hasn’t the X factor that surely Max has according to you. I would really like for us to be fuck buddies (I hate this term but I can’t find a better way to describe it), but we’ve been so platonic in the last year that I can’t actually imagine us like that, you know. Also, I have no idea if he finds me hot or not (I bet on the latter), so I’d rather not put a beautiful friendship at risk than ruin it all for a selfish desire of mine.  
You’re probably thinking I’m overthinking it all, but I swear I love what we and Dane have so I prefer us to stay where we are. I’m sharing all these details because as you surely know he’s so popular he has billions of friends everywhere in the academy and I certainly don’t risk being caught. (He told me Maxwell is a good friend of him, because I asked, so maybe I can try get some info for you without seeming suspicious).

Hope that’s what you wanted to know! Feel free to ask for more, although as I said your story about Max is probably much more interesting than mine since you actually experience romantic attraction. That being said, I have great news because I think I’m on the right track to find out who got Dustin as a partner. I don’t care that much to be honest, but I’m having so much fun investigating I just can’t stop! :D  
Okay so, follow my thoughts: you said that you find out who his partner was because of reasons, so the partner has to be someone who’s writing style is peculiar, am I right? So I started thinking about all the people in this school who “pop up”, and I investigated until I found myself with only 3 people who are the most likely to have had Dustin as a partner. Kevin Richardson (because he always speaks of himself in third person and he’s a weirdo in general), The Vixen (yes I use Anthony’s nickname because he and I are somehow friends) and Giovanni Palandrani (do I even need to explain this one?). I will find a way to the truth soon. Kevin and Anthony are gonna be easier than Giovanni since he hates me (I’m 99% sure he does), but I’m not giving up! 

Wish me luck Joy,  
Your daily dose of Salt


	12. V interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody it's your man! So, my gf is basically threating me if I don't keep writing this and it's been highly requested so after writing with her the first chapter of the first time Craquaria I came back on track with this! xo Lance

**to:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _V interesting_

**mail:**

Hi Saltie!

Wow, that was a long ass e-mail. I almost feel sorry for my half-assed answer last time (almost). Thank you for your exhaustive answer, now I can definitely see thing clearer. I kinda get you and what you’re feeling, even though that’s completely different from what I’m going through with Maxwell. With him, I feel like I have a real crush, I like him both personality-wise and body-wise. I don’t want to just fuck him senseless (although that’s for sure on my list after “a long night of cuddling with pizza and a movie”. Okay that was maybe too lovey-dovey of me but I can’t help it!). And I’m so glad you’ve asked Dane omg! That’s super kind of you, you shouldn’t have! :’) ily Saltine!

Anyway, how’s your investigation going? Did you talk to Kevin and Anthony? Also, you said you’re convinced that Giovanni Palandrani hates you. Why is that so? Isn’t he the most popular guy in the whole academy or whatever? I don’t think he hates someone, at all. If he did, it would be “too controversial” for his reputation… to be completely honest, I don’t like him that much. Hope you have more luck! But on one thing you’re absolutely right: we is definitely the type to have a distinctive way of writing… I never texted him or shit but I feel like he would. Let me know if you talk to him! Keep me updated in general, I would love to hear about your investigation since, well, you’ve decided you can’t do anything about Kameron…

I can't wait to hear from you!

Love,

Joy


	13. okay wtf happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing basically writes itself. xx Lance

~~I have a crush on~~

**to:** _factsarefacts@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _anhk@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _okay wtf happened_

**mail:**

Hi bitch!

  
It's me Yuhua. Today I've witnessed something I thought would've never happened. I saw Giovanni Palandrani and Maxwell Heller talking like normal human beings. You can call me crazy but this guy's not crazy, not completely at least. I'll prove you.

Okay so you probably want some context and shit, right?  
Well, I was heading into the library to find that stupid book on Ancient Egypt (anhk anhk am I right ladies) and who do I see bumping into each other "casually"? Those two.  
Yes bitch! The twins got together, finally.  
You know they have history but you've been here for like two months and I think it's time to tell you how it all went down.

As you can probably imagine, as soon as our golden boy Giovanni, the man of the hour, entered this school, everyone started gravitating towards him. During my first year there hadn't really been a primadonna in the Academy so I was very excited when he came because my second year seemed to be taking a very different (and very less boring) way than the first one. And you can bet I was damn right.Imagine how it felt for our poor Maxwell to have a guy who looks so similar to him being so much more popular: let's be real, no one would know who he is if it weren't for his martial arts club ( btw although I'm Asian I'm super shitty at sports so that's why you're never gonna see me there dear Kev). Rumors about them being related spreaded like CRAZY! Even the professors were on board with that shit, but they didn't feel like playing along. At first they tried to ignore everyone else, but then they got kinda pissed. And guess who was the target? Each other. They thought that the other had spreaded the rumors! I was gagged. I think they hated each other for a bit.  
But then Bob (you know Bob? That delicious bald Arts professor? Him) called them into his office to talk things out and they stopped looking at each other with deadly stares. I've never seen them talking to each other normally until today.  
But that's only my point of view on the situation! Closer sources affirm that the one who was more pissed was definitely Max because he's a bitter whore (not my words) and Giovanni is a small precious baby, aka the victim. But maybe I shouldn't trust his Stans (oh yeah he's got irl stans, what a school we live in Kev). Or maybe it was us, the viewers, who milked the shit outta this whole situation and in reality it wasn't that tragic. I dunno. I told you what I thought of the situation when it happened... good times filled with drama, girl.

Anyway, when I saw them talking yesterday I basically had a heart attack. My incestuous twink-twins fantasy was coming to reality, so I hid behind a bookshelf to better hear. Here's what I grasped (and it's pretty accurate since I wrote it down to not forget a single word):Max: "Ehy Gio".  
Gio: "Ehy".  
I'm pretty sure his voice trembled a little. He wasn't expecting that. I was tense af Kev!  
Max: "Listen, I know we don't talk a lot but I just wanted to know if you have any idea who got Dustin as a partner for the e-mails project. Just a little research nothing crazy".  
And here Gio went berserk! He dropped the books he was holding... wtf man. I don't know why he did that honestly!  
Gio: "No, I don't know, oh my God, I'm so sorry, my books, don't worry I'll pick them up".  
Max: "It's not a questioning, Giovanni. It's fine if you don't know. Sorry for bothering you... have a nice day".

And that was it Kev! Can you believe that? I swear I heard amusement and interest in Maxwell's voice when Giovanni had that kind of reaction to a simple question. Bet he's hiding something. I'm gonna follow them very closely because this is too hot to be left aside.  
Let me know if you're also burning in expectation!

Kisses,  
your favorite _Yuhua_


	14. Re: V interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Sorry for my absence these days, finals are a bitchbut I'm glad to be back.  
> I also wanna thank a dear friend of mine who helped me so much with this chapter. You're amazing! Enjoy! xo, Lance

**to:** _qrs99@nycacademy.com_

**from:** _saltine@nycacademy.com_

**object:** _Re: V interesting_

**mail:**

Hello Joyful one,

How are you?

I'm glad you understood my situation with Dane, but I have very bad news: he's moving away. Yup, I don't know if you heard already but he's going back to Tenessee for this year's last months because his father is in bad conditions. I can't tell you exactly what's happening because Dane told me not to tell anyone, but I'm afraid he's gonna pass away soon. My heart is shattered for my friend, he deserves all the happiness. I'll be praying for his dad to get well, because I can't handle the thought of Dane being wrecked by a tragic event. Hope you get me once again, dear Joy. I feel like I can truly talk to you and I trust you, I swear, even though I can't tell you everything. Our friendship is truly blossoming I feel, and I can't imagine not waking up finding one of your e-mails, or answering just before going to bed or entering a classroom. I really care about you.

But enough sentimentalisms, let's talk about something lighter, am I right ladies and gays?

So, you wanted to know about my investigations: you'll be happy to know that I crossed one name out of the list, our darling dear Italian superstar Giovanni Palandrani. How did I find out he's not the One? I asked him. I told you before I wasn't going to go down this road but I asked a couple of friends (Max included, if you were wondering, Dane too) to ask him directly. They all said he was kinda startled and I noticed that myself. He was somehow cute, if I have to say so. Kinder. And here I have to address the whole "Giovanni hates me" situation. I'm afraid I expressed myself poorly: I was convinced he hated me because he avoided me on purpose every time I had to talk to him. But this time he didn't. Maybe I caught him on a good day, maybe he just stopped being so up his own ass. But he talked to me. So we're good, don't worry. I think his previous behavior towards me came from the fact that he's so popular and hot and well-received by everyone, that he maybe feels on another level. But can we blame him after all? If I were that cute and "famous" maybe I would let that go to my head too.

That being said, I won't talk to him more than what's necessary from now on. I'm glad he sees me as a human being now, but I already have my circle of friends to hang out with and I don't really need to try to enter his stan groups.

Answer soon!

Kisses,  
_Salt_


End file.
